5 Common Myths About Couples Counseling

Couples counseling can be beneficial to your relationship for a variety of reasons. It can improve communication, serve as a neutral setting to work out problems, or prepare you for some of the common challenges long-term relationships face. 

But, far too many people stay away from this counseling because they’re misinformed. There are plenty of myths surrounding couples counseling that aren’t true of the experience you’ll actually go through. 

One of the best ways to feel confident about your decision to go to couples counseling is to understand and stomp out some of those myths. Let’s cover a few of the most common ones.

1. Couples Therapy Means Divorce

Many people see couples counseling as a “last resort” for relationships. You might think it’s something you should check off your list to say you tried everything before separating. 

But, couples counseling can be beneficial at any stage of your relationship. Some people do wait until things feel rocky, some want to learn to be better communicators, and others go to learn how to build their bond.  

Couples counseling isn’t a precursor to divorce. Rather, it’s something that will help to strengthen your relationship at any time. 

2. Your Counselor Will Take Sides

As human beings, we all form opinions. But, it’s the job of a couples counselor to remain neutral. They will not take sides. They won’t “attack” one person while agreeing with the other. If you’re worried that counseling will feel like two people ganging up on you, that’s a misconception you can get rid of immediately. 

3. It Will Make Things Worse

It’s true that couples therapy will likely cause you and your partner to talk about the hard parts of your relationship. You might even have to dig around in the past and work through the “skeletons” in your closet. 

Can that be difficult? Absolutely. But, it’s often a necessary step to make things better. Pushing things down or trying to avoid them will often lead to resentment and unresolved issues. Bringing them to light, especially in a neutral setting, can help you overcome them. 

4. Your Relationship Can’t Be Fixed

Because so many people use couples counseling as a last-ditch effort, they might think that their relationship is already too far gone to be saved. That’s not the right mindset to have as you go into counseling. 

Almost any relationship can be salvaged if both people involved are willing to work on themselves and invest in healthier partnership practices. If you step into couples counseling with the attitude that things will never work, you’re not going to get a positive experience out of it. 

Can every relationship be “saved” from ending? No. But, couples counseling can help you and your partner realize what’s best for you, as individuals, so you can either stay together or move on in healthy ways. 

5. People Don’t Change

As the old saying goes, a tiger doesn’t change its stripes. But, that isn’t necessarily true. Maybe your issue isn’t with couples counseling, itself, but with your partner and your thoughts about their attitude or behaviors. 

Maybe you think that they’ll never change, no matter what. You might also be stuck in your own ways and resistant to change things. But, people can change if they truly want to. Sometimes, all it takes is a third party to help them through it. If certain behaviors or ideas are causing harm to your relationship, you (or your partner) have to be willing to make positive changes. Counseling can help. 

There are so many additional myths that try to give couples counseling a bad name. Don’t buy into them. Instead, take the time to learn more about the counseling process. Ask questions. Get information. Talk to a counselor and get to know them so you’re comfortable speaking up. 

If you have more questions, concerns, or you’re ready to set up an appointment, please don’t hesitate to contact me today.