Setting Boundaries - How It Can Improve Your Relationship

There’s a misconception that too many people seem to have about the idea of boundaries. Some people think that setting boundaries in a relationship means that you want to keep your partner at arm’s length. Or, you don’t want to be fully vulnerable or committed to the relationship. 

Nothing could be further from the truth. Are there unhealthy boundaries? Absolutely. Boundaries can even be weaponized in a relationship when they aren’t approached the right way. 

But, setting healthy boundaries with the purpose of strengthening your connection with your partner can actually improve your relationship and make you both happier while boosting your intimacy and closeness. 

But, how can boundaries actually improve your relationship? 

Improved Communication

Setting boundaries isn’t about limiting communication with your partner. In fact, healthy boundaries can improve communication efforts within your relationship. Talking about your boundaries with each other gives you a glimpse into the other person’s mind. There are fewer guessing games and misunderstandings, because you know what to expect from your partner. 

When you approach every conversation with those things in mind, you won’t have to wonder what they’re really thinking or how they’re really feeling. It allows for more open and honest conversations. 

Boundaries also can serve as a script. When you set healthy boundaries and one is broken, you both know there will be consequences. For example, if there are certain subjects that make you too uncomfortable to talk about, tell your partner you won’t discuss them. If one of those subjects gets brought up, you can shut down the conversation and your partner shouldn’t be surprised or take offense. 

Intentional Conversations

In addition to better communication, setting boundaries can also make your interactions with your partner more intentional. Boundaries aren’t just a checklist of what you need and want. They are things that are important and meaningful to you. By sharing them with your partner, you’re opening yourself up. You’re asking them to do the same. 

When you share those pieces of yourself, you do so with intentionality. That can help you feel closer to each other, and can improve your intimacy. 

A Boost in Confidence

Relationships require compromise — but at the end of the day, you’re in control of your own life and choices. Boundaries can help to improve that sense of control. Don’t assume that means you’re in control of your partner; they have to make their own choices, too. But, when you have boundaries in place and your partner is willing to respect them, it can boost your confidence and self-esteem. You’ll know there is someone who cares about you enough to validate and respect your feelings, and that’s huge. 

A Shared Sense of Respect

Speaking of validation and respect, that’s another major benefit to setting boundaries. If there’s no respect in your relationship, things can get toxic quickly. Boundaries show a mutual respect from the very beginning, so you can enjoy more of your time with your partner and be present in the moment when you’re with them. 

The potential problem with boundaries is that they can be easy to abuse. Think about the things that matter most to you. What are your core values? What are your needs and wants? When you keep those ideas at the focus of your boundaries, you’re more likely to make them clear, concise, and healthy. 

Additionally, understand that your boundaries might change over time. You shouldn’t just have one conversation about it. It should be something you and your partner continue to discuss throughout your relationship. Doing so will ensure you’re on the same page more often than not, so you can enjoy the benefits of this healthy practice. 

If you’re struggling to set boundaries in your relationship, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Speaking with a therapist can help give you the tools you need to succeed in your relationship. Reach out today to schedule your first appointment!